Review: The Sisters (C-)

The Sisters (2005)
Directed by Arthur Allan Seidelman
Starring Maria Bello, Mary Stuart Masterson, Ericka Christensen, Elizabeth Banks, Steven Culp, Tony Goldwyn, Eric McCormack, Chris O’Donnell, Alessandro Nivola and Rip Torn.
MPAA: R
Grade: C-

Review by Ellyn Elm

Ultimately unsatisfying, The Sisters, is like a tired old mimeograph handout from your History of Western Civilization class freshman year in college. It’s a movie based on a play based on the Chekov classic, Three Sisters. And believe me, it suffers in the translation (as will you).

An impressive cast and solid acting on the part of Maria Bello and Mary Stuart Masterson, can’t save this one from the abyss. It’s pedantic and smug with none of the depth, grace or humanity of the Chekov original. As you may have guessed, the story centers on three sisters struggling to cope with their late father’s life and death. Throw in a lesbian, an overdose, infidelity, a couple of literary quotes, top it off with some incest and you’ve got yourself one big ole’ cliché.

I’m guessing I was supposed to be moved by the witty bons mots and clever dialog. But, clearly this movie is much smarter than me. This movie is so smart, in fact, is doesn’t stoop to create any kind of connection between the audience and the characters. It assumes we’re going to care about a bunch of neurotic intellectuals mentally sparring for an interminable 113 minutes. It’s like watching a Woody Allen movie without all that humor and insight to get in the way.

I’ll save you the trouble of having to watch the movie in its entirety and sum it up as follows: (Spoiler Alert!) Blah, blah, blah.

Whatever.