Note To Hollywood: Your Babies Are Boring

By Bobby Nashville

Okay, am I the only one that is totally fed up with celebrity baby news? It's everywhere you go. On TV, in the magazines, it seems to be the only thing that news organizations are concerned about. In fact, while going through the checkout at the local liquor store, I glanced at one of the magazines (US, People, whatever) and it proclaimed that having a baby is the new "cool thing to do" in Hollywood. How fucked up is that? Most Hollywood celebrities can't even take care of themselves, let alone a child. Not too long ago, Angeline Jolie was reportedly carrying Billy Bob's blood around with her and was acting way too chummy with her kid brother. Tom Cruise? After the Oprah/Brooke/Scientology/Medicine rantings of the last year? Don't even go there. And K-Fed? Wow.

ANYWAY, here is my note to all of you baby toting celebrities: your babies are boring. Keep them away from us. Yes, we want to see your films, but your googly eyed babies? Not so much. And for the most part, the fact that you had a baby doesn't interest me, unless your child can act. Come to think of it, what would interest me is if YOU actually did some decent acting and put out a solid film once in a while (or in Britney's case, a decent record). Brad, it's been a long time since Fight Club, my brother. So until your baby either shows up in a movie, gets into a street fight with James Woods, or enters rehab, we here at DVD Confidential don't want to hear about it.

And to all of you celebrity magazines and so-called Hollywood Insider Extra Entertainment Reporter new shows that continuously bombard us with the latest "news" about Shiloh, Suri, Kingston and Sean Preston? Get over it. We are tired of it already. The fact that you paid 4 million dollars for a photo of Brad and Angelina's baby does not prove that you are smart journalists that did what needed to be done to get the "inside scoop". It proves that you are idiots that need to find a better way to spend your money.

Okay, maybe the fact that a celeb has a baby is news - for a couple days. But that's it. If you keep reporting on it (instead of real news), then it gets annoying. It becomes like that distant relative or friend that can't stop talking about their kids all the time. Um... That's great. Yes, very cute.... Um... Gotta go, I forgot I have a previous engagement with reality.